There is one death by suicide every 12 minutes in this country, according to a CDC study. And as the 10th leading cause of death in the US, it’s no wonder why we spend so much time trying to combat it. Below are some things to consider when dealing with
Trigger Warning: Suicide
If you feel like someone is at risk, the first thing is to assume you are the only one who will reach out. Never assume someone else will respond for you, and as such, if someone reaches out to you, respond.
Second, listen. Ask them if they are considering suicide. Talking about it can help them lift this burden that they have, contrary to the myth that talking about suicide causes suicide. Remember to always take their thoughts and opinions seriously.
Keep asking questions, get them to keep talking. Especially if the person is considering suicide in the moment, keep them talking. Stay with them and constantly remind them that you care about them. And it’s okay to be honest with them. If you don’t know the answer to one of their questions, are are unsure about what to do, tell them. The important thing is to remind them that you care about them and are willing to help them through this. If the person lives with you, help them remove lethal means.
Along with listening, urge them to seek professional help or contact the emergency helpline. This is NOT the same as offering advice. While offering advice can seem helpful, it’s important to remember that that person may not be in the mindset to apply said advice. What is important is empathic listening.
Suicide prevention means a lot of listening and empathy. As someone who has experienced helping people through suicidal thoughts, it can be emotionally draining, so please please please remember to take care of yourself as well. Whether it’d be through self-care or setting boundaries, it’s important for you to recharge as well.
That said, staying in touch is one of the biggest things you can do. Whether it’d be a text, call, or email, a regular check-up can help show the person you care. People who are experiencing suicidal thoughts may be more inclined to start conversations, so you may feel like you are doing a lot of the heavy lifting in the friendship. But being a positive, supporting presence can mean the world to that person, even if they can’t say it in the moment.
Finally, be patient. It can take days, weeks, months, years. Recovery isn’t and enver will be a linear path. Your friend may have some good days and some bad days. Remember that good days don’t mean your friend is cured forever, and be patient with them if a string of bad days seems like they’ll never improve.
If you know someone who has suicidal thoughts, take the time to do research even after reading this article. There are a lot of trained experts providing better worded advice than I. The one thing that all of us agree on though is to be patient and listen with compassion and understanding.
Below are the National Hotline, as well as some other resources. Keep in mind the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is for the United States. There is a much more comprehensive list provided as well
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Text TALK to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7
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Written by Isaac L. from Irvine, California
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